List of Achievements, Week One, 2010

8 Jan

It’s been 2010 for a whole week, but it still doesn’t feel like the future yet. I find this fundamentally unfair. Come on. Two thousand and ten? I won’t invoke the flying car cliche, but at least give me something that hovers pointlessly. A kettle, maybe. Well, perhaps I can’t highlight anyone else’s lack of achievement this year, since all I’ve done in 2010 is:

  • Sat on my arse
  • Completed Assassin’s Creed 2 (woo!)
  • Read a lot of books I’ve already read
  • Done the occasional exercise bike sesh
  • Accumulated a collection of litter in my bedroom that would disgust a raccoon
  • Slept and eaten in huge quantities – well, it’s winter – we have so much to learn from bears
  • Cleared the driveway three times, as well as the path outside my house and the car’s turning circle. This is more strenuous than it sounds – I don’t have a snow shovel. Dear Gods of Snow: Piss off. Love and kisses, Jack.
  • Contracted sinusitis
  • Not gone to the pub – apparently drinking and smoking aggravates nasal problems – who knew?
  • Partly shaken off the sinusitis to find that a cold has pitched a tent in the vacated space
  • Consumed silly amounts of orange juice and multivitamins (no, they don’t work)
  • Written exactly two blog posts, if you can really count either of them.

Yeah, that was my week. My plans for Friday to Sunday are to get ferociously drunk and gibber to myself in nightclubs and hope that my cold doesn’t survive the hangover. Hey, who said the scorched-earth approach to medicine doesn’t work? Hope y’all had a great holiday, and good luck for the new year.


2 Responses to “List of Achievements, Week One, 2010”

  1. laubrau January 15, 2010 at 3:49 am #

    Good day sir. I too am from Newcastle. Update more, you amuse me. That is all.

  2. Jack January 21, 2010 at 8:50 pm #

    Good day ma’am. I too, also, am from Newcastle. Okay, I will. That is all.

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