In an Ideal World

28 Jan

Headlines from The Daily Express newspaper, January 2010:

SCROUNGING CARRIBBEAN BASTARDS – HAITI RECIEVES 50 MIL WHILE BRITISH KIDS DIE OF HUNGER

OFFICIAL GOVT. EXCUSE: “FUCKING HUGE EARTHQUAKE, YOU DAFT PRICKS”

TORIES SLAM GOVERNMENT FOR CHARITY SPENDING, OBSCENITIES

STRANGER REACHES DAILY EXPRESS OFFICES WITH “CRUCIAL MESSAGE”

APPARENTLY THE GOVERNMENT SPENT £600 BILLION ON THE BRITISH PUBLIC LAST YEAR – NOBODY TOLD US

£50 MILLION CHARITY DONATION DECLARED TO BE “CHUMP CHANGE”

EXPRESS EDITOR RESIGNS – CITES EMBARASSMENT, AWKWARDNESS

GOVT. PREPARES TO BRING BACK DEATH PENALTY FOR “CRIMES OF IDIOCY”

IDIOCY EXECUTION BILL PASSES IN RECORD TIME

NEW CHARITY “FEED THE WORLD – EAT THE STUPID” BACKED BY PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE

MORONS CULLED IN HUGE NUMBERS

WORLD OFFICIALLY DECLARED “LIVING PARADISE”

and, finally, from The Independent, January 31st, 2010 –

TABLOIDS GO BUST – PHEW WHAT A SHOCKER

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: